For many, Father's Day brings a flood of positive emotions: gatherings with family filled with laughter, funny stories, and the delicious scent of barbecue.
However, not everyone finds Father's Day joyful. For some, it can be a day of deep despair.
Some men have suffered the loss of a child, or their partner experienced a miscarriage. Some have faced the inability to have children, while others had to place their child up for adoption.
You might know friends whose fathers have passed away or who have strained or abusive relationships with their dads.
Perhaps you know a father who cannot see his children or a child who cannot see their father.
These challenging situations cause grief, and your help becomes important. People dealing with grief need friends who can offer love and support.
Many of us feel unsure about supporting a grieving friend, often because we were never taught how to comfort them. The discomfort can lead us to avoid reaching out altogether.
But imagine if you reached out anyway?
If you're at a loss for words, here are some suggestions:
- "I thought today might be a tough day. I wanted to reach out."
- "I wanted to check in and see how you're doing today. Anything I can do to help?"
- "How are you feeling today?"
Are you worried that you might cry while connecting with them? That's perfectly fine! It's normal to have your feelings too. If you feel like crying, let the tears come, and if they share something funny, feel free to laugh with them.
You may wonder if it is also appropriate to talk about your losses. It is. Keep in mind that each relationship is unique, so avoid comparing losses. However, if their words remind you of an experience, be honest. You might say something like, "I hear you, and while I don't know exactly how you feel, I understand. When my dad passed away, I felt……".
Someone heartbroken isn't broken. Listen to them with an open mind. Just be a heart with ears.
Contacting a grieving friend may be what they need this Father's Day. It's a simple way to show love on this sensitive holiday.
If you enjoyed this blog - check out this one written by co-founder Russell Friedman:
Holiday Grief Support: Father’s Day - My Dad, Babe Ruth, and the ball that's still in orbit
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