I am a retired RN with 40 years of experience working in the medical field. The last 27 were in a Family Practice Residency setting where patient care was the main focus and educating physicians was the second. In that role, I learned a lot about the role mental health and wellness plays in our lives and is unfortunately not addressed in a matter it should be mostly due to time constraints and administrative demands. I saw over and over again how loss affects people and how it plays a huge role with disease processes and general well being and then, I experienced my own losses and walked the road many of my patient's were on.
On Feb 27, 2014, I lost my daughter to a multi drug overdose. Life had become very challenging for her and despite the very best mental health care and all the love we could give her, she lost her battle with depression and anxiety that she dealt with on a daily basis. Nine months after she passed, my husband was diagnosed with Stage 4 colon cancer. I was in no way ready to deal with his diagnosis as I was still very much grieving the loss of my daughter as was he. Together, we fought his cancer battle but the fight was lost in January 2018, when he too passed away.
Going back to work after losing her was like walking in to a big hug. I had all the love and support I needed whenever I needed it. Going back to work after my husband died, was a very different situation. Three weeks after my husband passed, my nurse manager and good friend also lost her battle with cancer and she died too. When I went back to work after his and her passing, things were very different as there was new management and many changes had taken place. There had also been many personnel changes between the time my daughter passed and my husband passed so going back to work after his death was challenging in many ways.
The support from many of my peers was not what I needed it to be. I was supposed to act like nothing happened ( Academy Award Performance) and I became angry. Going to work became more and more difficult for me. After 27 years in the same department, everything had changed. I felt like I lost my identity and all my autonomy and had no say in or control of anything at work. This was all just too much to handle and then I was told that I "had an attitude."
While I was in counseling this whole time, I decided that for my own well being, it would be best for me to get away from the situation that caused me extreme distress on a daily basis. After a 40 year career as an RN, I retired. I wasn't ready to retire and I knew I would miss the patient's and the work I loved so much for such a long time but, it was what I needed to do to regain my emotional health.
After retiring, I was just numb and lost for a long time. I realized I never really grieved my daughter as I should have and I had done very little grieving for my husband while I was dealing with all the issues I had at work.
I had a lot of work that I needed to do if I was ever going to be happy again.
After my daughter passed, I started a grief group for people who lost a loved one to substance use disorder. After facilitating the group for 3 years, I felt I needed more tools for the group and for myself and my own personal growth. There were many things I figured out on my own but I needed a way to structure things. It was then that I found The Grief Recovery Method and began starting the work back to happiness and returned to a better life for myself. Becoming a Grief Recovery Specialist and an Advanced Specialist has afforded me the opportunity to help myself heal and the tools to guide other grievers on their way to grief recovery and a happier, healthier life.
I am associated with Ampersand Integrative Wellness Center in Wyomissing, PA where I hold group sessions (reopening under Covid guidelines August 3, 2020.)
I am also certified as an advanced specialist which enables me to offer one on one sessions on line to anyone anywhere who wants to engage in the Grief Recovery Method.
I also offer Helping Children With Loss on line in a group format or one on one.
I work with anyone who has experienced loss but my passion is child loss, loss of spouse and loss to substance use disorder.