Saying "Don't Feel Bad" Never Helps Someone Not Feel Bad
You've heard it, haven't you?
You know you're supposed to share your sad feelings. Keeping them bottled inside affects your mental, spiritual, and emotional health. So you decide to open up about a breakup, death, financial fear, or illness.
Then you hear it.
Don't feel bad.
As if you haven't been praying every night to feel better. As if you had the ability to snap your fingers to feel better. As if it's not okay to feel bad when something bad happens.
We get it. Even when it's coming from a good place, being told not to feel bad can feel like a painful jab to the heart because it invalidates your feelings.
Feeling bad after a heart-breaking loss is normal and natural.
But how would you know that?
Did you know that by the time a child reaches 15, they have received over 23,000 messages telling them not to feel bad about grief and not to share their emotions? As human beings, we are wired to experience a wide range of emotions. We aren't robots. However, societal norms often push people to suppress their feelings, especially those labeled "negative." This early conditioning can have lasting effects on your mental and emotional well-being, setting you up for a lifetime of struggle.
While you know it doesn't feel good to hear, you've heard it so much that you might start to think something is wrong with you, and you shouldn't feel bad.
What can you do?
- Find someone who is safe to talk to.
- Guide them in listening. You can say, "I really need someone to listen without input. Can you please help me?"
- If needed, you can gently explain that you know they are trying to be helpful, but the truth is, you do feel bad, and that is okay.
So, the next time you need to express yourself with a friend or loved one, try these techniques to help you communicate effectively while honoring your feelings.
Want to learn more about the myths and misconceptions about grief. Download our free ebook today.
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