My name is Tammy Fleming. I am an American, living in Kyiv, Ukraine. My first experience with grief recovery was in 2008. I had been given a copy of The Grief Recovery Handbook and it pains me to admit that it took me nine years from the first time I heard about the program to actually engage with it. At that time, I had just moved from Los Angeles, California, to Birmingham, England – my sixth international move, at age 48 with two kids. I knew I was feeling sad from leaving good friends behind, leaving a comfortable home, the ending of so much that was good and familiar. But what made things worse was that I moved to a place where it seemed that everyone around me was sad and disappointed with where they were at in their lives, needing to grieve a host of broken dreams and unfulfilled expectations, and none of us seemed to have any tools that were working for us. 

It was then that an old friend and I went away for a weekend together and read the entire Grief Recovery Handbook, completing all the exercises. That first experience with the Grief Recovery Method® was life-changing for me. To my great surprise, I discovered in that process that an even deeper pain in my heart than my recent move was my current relationship with my teenage daughter. She was about to move out of the family home to go to University, leaving me with a terrible private mess of confusing, unexpressed feelings and a lot of regret. Doing the work of grief recovery on our relationship was eye-opening. It improved our relationship dramatically.

 When I next experienced the Grief Recovery Method® in a group setting with a certified Specialist, I learned so much more. I began to understand then how much my habits of avoiding pain, always only looking at the bright side of things, not daring to admit even to myself the depth of my own negative emotions (among others) had been having a negative impact on my health and the quality of my relationships literally for decades. For example: both my parents had died rather early. Because I had believed the myth of “keeping busy” as an antidote for grief, I kept myself so busy that I missed my daughter’s childhood completely. When I was present physically, I was busy in my head fretting about the past or worrying about the future and was not present emotionally.

 I have been astounded by the many and varied benefits I've reaped from continuing to work through the unfinished business from my early losses and other important relationships along life’s path. Now that I live in a country at war, the Grief Recovery Method® is the best instrument I know to help heal everything we are encountering here, whether the issue is a family being separated, the loss of a pet or the loss of one’s home,  a soldier returning from the front who has lost a limb, lost a comrade, or the resentment in people’s hearts for these terrible ongoing circumstances beyond our control. 

     I am proud and grateful that the Grief Recovery Institute has been so supportive of my desire to see this program translated into the languages of the countries where I have been privileged to live for significant periods of my life.  Prior to the official declaration of war between Russia and Ukraine, in 2021 we facilitated the training of the first group of 15 native Russian- and Ukrainian-speaking Certified Grief Recovery Method® Specialists in Eastern Europe and Eurasia. We completed the Ukrainian translation of the Handbook in 2024. Feel free to reach out to me if you need a copy of the Handbook in these languages and cannot access one.

                  My husband Andy and I have been married nearly 40 years. We have two married children and three grandchildren who live on opposite sides of the globe from one another. My primary vocation was as an ordained minister with the International Churches of Christ, and now, in retirement from full-time ministry as I continue to consult, write, speak and teach, I consider the Grief Recovery Method® one of the best tools I have ever been given for helping people heal. Unfortunately, suffering and trauma intrude into every life. With all my heart, I invite you to invest in learning these essential skills for everyone’s life.

     The programs I currently offer are all online: the eight-session Grief Recovery Method® Support Group; the seven-session One-on-One Grief Support Program; the four-session Helping Children with Loss, which is for adults who love or work with children age 2 to 18 in any capacity; and the four-session Alumni Program, for anyone who has already completed work on one relationship with me and would like help to complete another relationship.