For many people Valentine’s day goes hand-in-hand with romance, love, and of course, chocolate.

For others, all they want to do is crawl under the covers until the day is over. Commercials for flowers and jewelry serve as painful reminders that their hearts are broken.

Holidays often trigger sadness and pain about a loved one that died, a relationship that changed or ended, or a love they wish they had. That’s NORMAL. Feelings of grief are just as valid as emotions of love. Please read that again! Feelings of grief are just as valid as feelings of love and joy. 

Sadly most of us weren’t taught how to recover from heartbreak or how to walk through a difficult day, so we hope you find the following tips for getting through Valentine’s Day helpful.

• Don’t be strong. Be honest. Being strong for others really means avoiding your feelings and demonstrating to others by example that it’s not okay to be sad. If you need to talk about your feelings, cry, or to take a moment to hug a loved one extra hard, then do so.

• Don’t try to replace your loss. I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “There are other fish in the sea.” Well guess what? People are individual and unique. Since no two people are alike there is no way you could possibly replace another person. What you can do is get complete with the relationship that ended or changed, so that you will be fully available to the next person.

• Don’t stay busy.  Busyness and distractions push back the inevitable feelings you have to feel. Many people try to avoid their feelings with alcohol or food. Pay attention to what activities you might be using to distract yourself near Valentine’s Day. I get it, it’s easy to try to avoid feelings with a box of chocolate or candy hearts, but remember, you can’t go around a broken heart. 

• Don’t try to fix yourself. You are not broken. There’s nothing wrong with feeling sad and heartbroken. It’s as normal as the sun rising in the morning.

• Don’t isolate. Can you ask for help by making a plan to see, or talk to someone on Valentine’s Day? Find someone that won’t try to fix you. 

• Don’t avoid Valentine’s Day rituals if you don’t want to. Are there Valentine’s Day memories that you love? Go ahead and do them. Call someone and share your day together. Get creative or plan something for a later date.

Valentine’s Day can be hard. And with a little planning and self-care you can get through the day without hiding under the covers.  

Did you like this blog?  Here are more resources for Valentine’s Day

Moving On: Dump Your Relationship Baggage and Make Room for the Love of Your Life

5 Things to Do if You Feel Sad on Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day Sadness

If you feel ready to heal your heartache,  please read more about our 90 Day Heal Your Heart Challenges for grievers. It can change your life, if you’re willing to give it a try.

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