Don't wait to collapse at 42 as I did. I did not know my own grief, could not communicate my feelings. I self-described it as"male challenged". Believed I had to be strong for everyone, and do it all alone.
Currently having survived array of LOSSES and CHANGES: my role, my mom, another best friend, then my soulfriend and wife Joan, simultaneous to my dad'. They are all gone. The most important people in my life. My life. Sold our home. Navigated losses of energy, loss of confidence in various institutions, and doubted my self.
But the Jeff-Alone journey continued. Grieved. Grew. Guided others with this signficant clear methodical healing Grief Recovery programme. Formed teams
Some of my grief learning summaries helped me discover and say:
"I am OK. Except when I am not";
"I do not know if I am coming or going, so just do both"
"I am strong enough to be weak"
"Then, we were living to die. Now, I am dying to live"
Amazingly, I feel alive despite and through it all. And share grief care around the Near North Ontario and beyond.
2021 resumed as multifaith chaplain in our regional psychiatric & general hospital, having servied also in correctional settings, churches, and the community. I re-affirmed my primary passion for grief care in all of its forms. Grief often not named. And resources are scarce. Wait times are long.
But the Grief Recovery Method TOOL with its clear language, structured process, evidence-based credential, is readily available to help us navigate mind-bending waves of crazy-making, soul wrenching, spirit-crushing, and life-changing losses and events.
Kindergarten taught me to share; Sociology, about people; Master of Divinity, about Higher Power talk;; Institute for Black Catholic Studies, about Soulful Spirituality; Clinical Pastoral Education, about professional spiritual care and self discovery.
After Kindergarten and the School of Life, Grief Recovery Method deepened my ability to BE OPEN and SHARE-TALK with others. I accompany people to the DEPTHS of their pain in the midst of their acute and sheer survival mode, across the darkness toward the light of an ability to feel alive again. PAIN-TEARS and JOY-LAUGHTER are signs we are alive. So, don't do it all alone. And grief needs action, not just time, to heal..
Serving Near North Ontario from North Bay and West Nipissing in different venue: One to one; Groups; Educational sessions; Helping Children With Loss; and more.